I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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