Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
PANTIES FOUND
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