Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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