Say something about gay babies.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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