I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
