physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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