he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
