i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think my moral compass just broke
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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