don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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