I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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