just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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