jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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