What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Randomize
