Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
