I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
