i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
