it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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