If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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