she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
i believe in u and ur pee
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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