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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.

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• (585): View more from New York

  You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.

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  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (514): View more from Quebec

  No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.

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• (516): View more from New York

  It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".

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• (585): View more from New York

  Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (303): View more from Colorado

  There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult

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• (716): View more from New York

  I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out

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• (707): View more from California

  WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night

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