I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.