Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story. http://tfl.nu/l5v1
  Replies (8) Good night (6436) Bad night (1070)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement? http://tfl.nu/kphp
  Replies (6) Good night (5405) Bad night (1406)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing? http://tfl.nu/vakp
  Replies (12) Good night (4769) Bad night (1550)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): 260 beers this month. I need a new hobby. http://tfl.nu/ixdv
  Replies (37) Good night (3868) Bad night (1565)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back http://tfl.nu/nfcm
  Replies (7) Good night (3699) Bad night (931)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!" http://tfl.nu/xp9i
  Replies (19) Good night (5989) Bad night (1337)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex. http://tfl.nu/mu23
  Replies (14) Good night (3963) Bad night (1181)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions. http://tfl.nu/8mk0
  Replies (10) Good night (1680) Bad night (694)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I love you more with every blowjob.

  (1-202): View more from Washington, DC

  You should write for Hallmark.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): I love you more with every blowjob. (1-202): You should write for Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/2s1x
  Replies (8) Good night (3269) Bad night (743)
• Favorite

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (810): Two word: claymation porn. Think about it. (1-810): I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me. http://tfl.nu/emwe
  Replies (8) Good night (1943) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married. http://tfl.nu/414x
  Replies (18) Good night (1030) Bad night (2444)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick http://tfl.nu/oet2
  Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father" http://tfl.nu/jrcs
  Replies (3) Good night (993) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Speaking

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that (517): Speaking http://tfl.nu/78dl
  Replies (1) Good night (885) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon. http://tfl.nu/fzlp
  Replies (0) Good night (460) Bad night (226)

Randomize