Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I just pynch a tree in the face

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  (336): I just pynch a tree in the face http://tfl.nu/eknu
  Replies (6) Good night (1341) Bad night (678)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  i think i'm in class. and blacked out.

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  (404): i think i'm in class. and blacked out. http://tfl.nu/l2ml
  Replies (5) Good night (2227) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.

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  (561): So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon. http://tfl.nu/ni4o
  Replies (10) Good night (3403) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.

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  (603): I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot. http://tfl.nu/xny3
  Replies (35) Good night (5619) Bad night (1644)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong

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  (205): Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong http://tfl.nu/oa40
  Replies (9) Good night (5242) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.

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  (509): Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/26kw
  Replies (14) Good night (1583) Bad night (5816)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning

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  (817): All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning http://tfl.nu/qcnv
  Replies (9) Good night (3557) Bad night (1137)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.

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  (617): Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/0aty
  Replies (10) Good night (1013) Bad night (2199)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking

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  (970): I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking http://tfl.nu/lf0q
  Replies (8) Good night (2751) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.

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  (310): I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right. http://tfl.nu/p298
  Replies (2) Good night (2038) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.

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  (270): Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash. http://tfl.nu/fwcr
  Replies (8) Good night (399) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.

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  (954): In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme. http://tfl.nu/cq54
  Replies (0) Good night (614) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?

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  (740): I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that? http://tfl.nu/cfbo
  Replies (4) Good night (316) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf

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  (253): Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf http://tfl.nu/ir0h
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"

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  (252): He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you" http://tfl.nu/xyuz
  Replies (1) Good night (451) Bad night (244)

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