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I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
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