Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I feel like I'm in dance class right now

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  (414): I feel like I'm in dance class right now http://tfl.nu/fwvl
  Replies (2) Good night (682) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.

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  (312): Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story. http://tfl.nu/ckvj
  Replies (6) Good night (1106) Bad night (385)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.

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  (203): That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song. http://tfl.nu/uhw8
  Replies (13) Good night (475) Bad night (1989) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.

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  (713): Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy. http://tfl.nu/uglu
  Replies (3) Good night (2463) Bad night (623)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.

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  (865): If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport. http://tfl.nu/vfi8
  Replies (26) Good night (3730) Bad night (1720) Order T-Shirt
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  (323): View more from California

  I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.

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  (323): I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache. http://tfl.nu/t0k5
  Replies (13) Good night (5595) Bad night (552) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.

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  (920): call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing. http://tfl.nu/ctbc
  Replies (8) Good night (631) Bad night (2797) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.

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  (404): she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis. http://tfl.nu/x2kt
  Replies (67) Good night (10719) Bad night (907) Order T-Shirt
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh fat girl friday strikes again...

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  (724): oh fat girl friday strikes again... http://tfl.nu/rgt0
  Replies (60) Good night (716) Bad night (4240) Order T-Shirt
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  (254): View more from Texas

  Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.

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  (254): Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working. http://tfl.nu/apns
  Replies (8) Good night (727) Bad night (3901) Order T-Shirt
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  (+04): View more from

  Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.

  (1+04): View more from

  I hate Sailor Jerry.

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  (+04): Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles. (1+04): I hate Sailor Jerry. http://tfl.nu/k3xc
  Replies (11) Good night (1753) Bad night (674)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.

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  (541): Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me. http://tfl.nu/hakv
  Replies (13) Good night (856) Bad night (606) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.

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  (207): I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron. http://tfl.nu/90fl
  Replies (9) Good night (1209) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.

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  (309): note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never. http://tfl.nu/8ha6
  Replies (7) Good night (250) Bad night (1020) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.

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  (214): I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports. http://tfl.nu/apdh
  Replies (4) Good night (558) Bad night (156)

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