It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
