I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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