why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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