i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
