i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm like, not good at living.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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