how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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