Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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