So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize