i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
