the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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