Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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