I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
