come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
