just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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