I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
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i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
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I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning