he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize