so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
