Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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