I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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