Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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