East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
