im drinking this country out of the recession.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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