Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
