I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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