I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
