Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
