Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
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My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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