So drunk, too bad you don't want this
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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