Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
