Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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