I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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