Sorry, I don't speak sober.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
jump out the window naked night went bad
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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