Whod you bang
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize