Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
