what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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