I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
