i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
