Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
