try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
