things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize