We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
